THOUGHT FOR TODAY

What does it mean to be famous? From the Middle English far-mo-r'us, meaning: far more of us.

The thing about fame is, you need it to be it. And when you don't have it you're not it. So there you go. But can you ever stop being famous? Does fame simply go away? Can you lose it if you don't use it?

Short answer, Yes. Dear god, yes.

How do you go from being top of the heap to bottom of the ladder? One mistake is all it takes. Mark those words. My advice to famous people is, keep being famous because not famous sucks. Sucks big time. Riding the subway, minimum wage, paying full fare, flying coach, eating at Applebee's, sucking freon from an abandoned air conditioner, all these these things really suck ass.

Busted At Thanksgiving Day Parade

The Oscars '08

The Academy can kiss my furry red ass. Where's my Oscar nod for Sheldon Goes to Outer Space a few years back? Christ they even nominated that creepy little bastard who played the creepy little bastard in Lord Of The Rings. What about me? I'm no animated character, I'm all flesh and fur baby. That's right. And Darron Aaronofsky can kiss it too. I was offered that wrestler role first but I turned it down because  I thought he should stage a big comeback at the end and wrestle Hulk Hogan and the Iron Shiek in a tag team with that dude from Blue's Clues. Mickey Rourke wasn't even acting. They gave him a 6 pack and some percoset and followed him around on an average day. If  that's acting then the cast of Big Brother have some Oscars coming.

Bite me Hollywood.

WHAT THE F ICELAND???

I've had some time on my hands ever since I got canned from the show, so I'm trying to take more of an interest in current events. So I called my financial planner to see how my portfolio  is doing. Not good. Not good at all. He says my outlook pretty much looks like MC Hammer's or Willie Nelson's right about now. How the hell did this happen? What the F is going on in the world right now? Does anybody realize I cant even afford to fill my bathtub with champagne anymore? I can't afford the Peruvian shit. I can't afford bottle service. Me, I'm two steps away from sofa surfing.

Not happy. Not happy at all Iceland. Why did I ever agree to invest my money in viking banks.

SUPERMARKET OPENING

I got to go to Chinatown in Sunset Park for this opening of a new T&T supermarket on 38th street. I got to keep the ribbon and they even paid for my busfare. There was also a free buffet lunch in the deli section. Apparently I used to be huge in China. Now, not so much. Now they call me gai ki mo chan, which I guess translates to red meteor falling from sky. On the bright side, my fortune cookie said new prospects will present themselves in new year - I wonder, did that mean this year, or next year?

KING KULLEN OPENING

This is me officiating at the Grand Opening of the new King Kullen megaplex in Paramus, NJ. As the guest of honor I got to cut the ribbon. Turns out that the ribbon is already cut and i just push an oversized pair of fake scissors against the ribbon.

Still a pretty sweet deal. Plus I get $60 and all of the overstock canned tuna in oil that I can carry home. 

Tuna casserole for dinner again tonite.

Limited Time Offer on Merchandise

https://post.craigslist.org/manage/103838067/ry6n7

Yeah, I'll consider other offers. Actually I'll take pretty much anything.

I'm eating dogfood here people.

Sheldon Shellstein

Photobucket Album

The inaugural launch of my new series of video blogs, or what the internet specialists call vlogs. Isn't that town in Belarus? I dunno. Anyway, not my best effort, but you gotta start somewhere. Anyway, it feels great be back on screen again.

A Little Saturday Night Guitar Hero

Just a little Rock and Roll Sony Playstation style. Because that's how Shel kicks it these days. Not sure who the other guy is. I think he's a friend's bookkeepper or something. He had a french accent anyway - and the dude could NOT shred the wax axe.